“I give myself grace”
You know those moments when someone says exactly what you need to hear, but you didn’t know that you needed to hear it?
This happened to me as I was listening to an ordinary meditation on an ordinary day. At one point during the meditation, the guide invited me to say to myself, “I give myself grace.”
I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. But as soon as I quietly said those words to myself – with my hand over my heart – something shifted. My insides softened, my eyes started to prickle with tears, and a part of me sighed with relief.
I didn’t realize, until that moment, how hard I’d been on myself. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d viewed myself through the lens of grace.
Grief is a full-body experience – one that can significantly reduce your capacity. As you do your best to keep showing up as a coworker, parent, partner, or friend, it can be easy to forget (or frustrating to remember) that you aren’t the same person you used to be. In addition to the emotional impact of loss, your sleep might be affected. You may have more illnesses and aches. It can be harder to socialize, to problem solve, to make decisions, to check off to-dos.
Our culture acts as though our changed capacity lasts for a matter of weeks, but in truth we often feel these effects for months or even years. (If your loss was recent and this is a completely overwhelming thought, please know that the intensity will diminish over time. It won’t always feel the way that it does right now.)
It takes so much to move forward after a life-changing loss. When’s the last time you really gave yourself grace for all that you’ve lived through?
If it feels right to you (and even if it feels a bit uncomfortable), I invite you to take a moment, hand over heart, and repeat these words to yourself:
I give myself grace.
For all the ways my world has changed, I give myself grace.
For expecting myself to be who I was, I give myself grace.
For all the times when it’s just too much, I give myself grace.
For not being the same parent, friend, or partner right now, I give myself grace.
For all I know now that I didn’t know then, I give myself grace.
For all the ways I can’t show up like I used to, I give myself grace.
As I find a way forward through some of my hardest days, I give myself grace.
I give myself grace.
I give myself grace.
If any of these words speak to you right now, I hope you’ll let them settle into your heart. I hope you’ll find ways to cultivate softness. I hope you’ll hold yourself in grace.
As always, take gentle care of yourself.
