Finding the Gifts in the Messy Middle
Back when I was starting my business, I received a piece of advice that I’ve never forgotten. Savor the beginning when things are slow. Take walks. Take naps. Enjoy the spaciousness.
I remember thinking, “Wow, what a gift it could be when things are slow to start.”
That didn’t stop me from wanting to rush ahead. When it came to my business, I desperately wanted to get past the part where everything felt scary and uncertain and so incredibly HARD.
I’d love to say that I savored the spaciousness. But truthfully? I spent a good amount of time just being anxious about it.
Looking back, I wish I had stopped trying so hard. I wish I had heeded that advice to savor the spaciousness instead of fretting over the clients that hadn’t yet come, the business that hadn’t yet gained momentum, and all the ways I felt confused and stuck.
I’m so grateful that, for the moment, things are feeling a lot more full and a lot less scary. I’ve got my systems up and running. Clients are coming in more effortlessly. I feel grounded in my skills as a coach, and I’ve learned so much about how I want to show up in my business.
And yet, I know this is fleeting. I know the next first time is coming. I know it won’t be long before I’m once again sitting in the spaciousness, completely confused, waiting for the universe to throw me a damn bone so I can take the next step without feeling like I’m fumbling and banging into objects at every turn.
I don’t relish the thought of being in that space again, but I hope that the next time it happens, I can stop trying so hard to forge ahead. I hope I take a seat in the grass and lift my face toward the sun. I hope I can take more naps.
I hope I can appreciate that there are gifts in the knowing but that there are also gifts in the waiting.
In our culture of doing (and doing it all just right), taking some time to lean into being and waiting and misstepping can feel countercultural, if not downright impossible. We desperately want to get to the part where we’ve figured it all out and are seeing results and have evidence that we’ve made all the right decisions.
I hope, though, that we can find the gifts. That we can know and trust that we’re being extended an invitation to just BE. That the messy part sucks but that it won’t be messy forever.
Turn your face to the sun. Find the spaciousness. Rest in the waiting until the next step becomes clearer.
As always, I’m rooting for you.
P.S. If you’d like some support while you sit in waiting or are stumbling your way through, you can learn more about coaching here.
