Mother’s Day Resources
Mother’s Day can rank as one of the toughest days of the year for many grievers. This post includes links to events and resources for those who might be feeling the pain of loss even more this week. If that’s not you, please read on about how you can show support to someone who’s grieving this Mother’s Day.
Events and resources for coping with loss on Mother’s Day
If Mother’s Day is a difficult time for you, here are some free events and resources that may be able to offer you some support:
If you’ve lost a child:
David Kessler is hosting A Mother’s Grief: When a Child Dies, a free talk on Thursday 5/11
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore speaks with Compassionate Friends about the loss of a child in this YouTube video
PsychCentral’s Grief and the Black Mother and Therapy for Black Girls’ For Mothers Navigating the Loss of a Child speak to the experience of Black mothers who are grieving
If you’ve lost your mother:
Hope Edelman & Claire Bidwell Smith are hosting a free Mother’s Day for Motherless Daughters event on Saturday 5/13
Read Mother’s Day Grief: Life Without a Mother’s Love by What’s Your Grief
Articles that speak to a variety of Mother’s Day losses (loss of child, loss of mother, infertility, stillbirth, pregnancy loss, difficult relationships):
Article on How to Handle Mother’s Day Pain
What’s Your Grief has a roundup of articles related to Mother’s Day
Modern Loss’s Reclaiming Mother’s Day is another collection of articles
I know this holiday affects a multitude of people with a variety of losses, including many that don’t make it into articles about Mother’s Day grief (for instance, you might be a mother facing Mother’s Day without her partner, a pet mom missing her fur baby, or someone who’s trying to navigate this holiday without a sibling). Please know that I see you and am sending you love.
Ways to support grieving people this Mother’s Day
Here are ways that you can support the people in your life who may be feeling the pain of loss on Mother’s Day:
Don’t be silent. If you know that this might be a hard time for someone in your life, remember that acknowledgement is everything. You don’t have to say a lot or say the perfect words. A simple “I’m thinking of you today” goes a long way.
Consider tangible support. A lot of support these days comes via texts and social media comments. Consider going the extra step by sending a card, dropping off flowers, or even sending an e-gift card so someone can treat themselves to a cup of coffee.
Avoid making assumptions about how someone feels. Not everyone who is missing someone on Mother’s Day is having an unequivocally sad day; they may also be celebrating with loved ones or taking time to honor the one they are missing. You might ask, “How is today feeling for you?” and let the person tell you how they are experiencing the day.
Honor how someone does (or doesn’t) want to celebrate. Avoid pressuring a person into joining family or social events. Be willing to offer your presence in other ways and allow the grieving person to take the lead.
Remember that your role is to be present, not to try and make it better. You can’t take away another person’s pain - nor should you try to. Try witnessing and acknowledgement instead. This video “How do you help a grieving friend?” by Megan Devine illustrates how you might do that.
Consider reading this Mother’s Day Manifesto by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore. These are powerful words about living with the loss of a child. Instead of saying “I can’t imagine,” let’s make ourselves present to what grieving parents need us to know about their loss.
However this week finds you, I hope that you feel loved and that you take gentle care of yourself.
