The #1 Regret of the Dying & What It Means for You

In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, writes about the most common regrets people share as they come to the end of their days.

The number one regret of the dying? I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Read that again.

It kind of takes your breath away, doesn’t it?

The number one regret of the dying wasn’t wishing they’d spent more time with loved ones, or worked less, or saw the world, or checked off the things on their bucket list.

The number one regret was not being TRUE.

I don’t share this to alarm you.

I share this because we somehow convince ourselves that living a life that feels true to us—rather than what others expect of us—isn’t that important or is secondary to other things.

I strongly beg to differ. And the dying would, too.

If you’re feeling trapped by expectations, spinning your wheels trying to check all the boxes, or feeling guilty or anxious about doing what matters most to you, I want you to know that there’s another way.

You can show up for the people in your life and show up in your truth. You can keep doing good things in the world while also doing good things for yourself. 

You can welcome in more joy—which is your fuel and your light—and be assured that this will not only help you but will light the way for everyone around you.

We are tricked into thinking that we need to give up parts of ourselves in order to belong.

But the real belonging comes when we belong to ourselves. This is how we live most fully in service to everyone around us. This is how we live our lives with less regret. And this is how we can belong, no matter where we are or who we are with.

What could belonging to yourself look like today? What’s one place where you’re hiding, pretending, or putting yourself to the side? Can you show up? Can you speak up? Can you allow yourself to step into your truth, just for a moment, no matter how small the step may be?

Let’s do the scary things together, knowing that our truth matters.  

I’ll be over here celebrating you (you brave truth warrior you!).

P.S. If the thought of showing up in your truth sounds terrifying, you aren’t alone—and you don’t have to do it alone! In 12 weeks, you can give yourself the space, time, and tools to tap into your truth and start walking the road back to yourself. Click here to learn more about how 1:1 coaching can help.