How Do You Know When You Need Tending?

How do you know when you’ve drifted away from tending to yourself?

Exhaustion, irritability, and resentment are my clues. When I start snapping at others and having thoughts like, “Well, wouldn’t that be nice?”, I know something is amiss.

Tending to myself right now means other things must fall away. In the last few weeks, I’ve been late to work more than once because meditation has become a non-negotiable. Sometimes I rush away from the dinner table to get in my daily walk. I’ve bowed out of calls with friends so I can get to bed early.

I sometimes struggle with the guilt that comes with these trade-offs. I feel the pull of what I “should” do more often than I would like to admit.

And yet...I am working my way through. Witnessing how all that self-tending means I show up better in all areas of my life (it sounds so trite, and yet it’s so true). It starts in with a short meditation in front of my bedroom window, every day.

Getting still, breathing deeply, knowing that the first person who needs my care is me. Discovering that each time I look after her first—especially now, when it feels so hard to do—the irritability and resentment start to loosen their grip.

How do you know when it’s time to move yourself up on the list?