The Holiday To-Do You’re Missing

Photo by Davies Designs Studio on Unsplash

In my house - and in some of my clients’ homes - there are conversations swirling about holiday plans. We’re discussing everything from travel plans to gift exchanges to the Thanksgiving dinner menu.

Right around this time, it can be easy for me to get caught up in all the holiday hustle. What starts out as anticipation of cozy feelings and gathering with loved ones quickly morphs into an endless to-do list and a whirlwind of expectations.

Before I get to that place - and before you do too - I’d like to offer you a simple question (yet one that we rarely ask ourselves): How do you want your holidays to feel?

Let’s really dig into this one: Take a breath. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in your ideal holiday season - not necessarily the one you have every year, but the way you’d like it to feel this year. Let go of whatever expectations you have, or those that others have for you. You have permission to start with a clean slate and to focus on what feels right to you, right now.

Now take note. How does it feel? Is it small and cozy, or large and festive? Exciting and celebratory, or familiar and quiet? Joyfully bustling, or minimal and restful?  (A mix of all of these is a perfectly acceptable answer!)

Now stay in that space, and take note of where you are and what you’re doing. Notice who’s there (and who isn’t). Notice what you see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. Paint a picture for yourself of what you want from this season.

After you’ve spent a little time there, see if you can locate an image or a few words that you can carry with you to embody that feeling (maybe it’s “cozy + warm,” “festive + fun,” or an image like a fireplace, a large table surrounded by loved ones, or even an exotic destination!).

As you move forward in the coming weeks making plans and adding holiday tasks to your list, I’d invite you to pause and ask yourself, “Will saying yes to this make my holidays feel more [your words or image]? Does this support how I want to feel?”

For most of us, the holidays will always be a time when we’re balancing our own expectations with those of the ones we love. If we take a moment to get clear about what we want first and carry that forward, we’ll have more opportunities to thoughtfully decide what to let in and what to drop. We’ll be in a better position to make sure our holidays feel the way we imagine.

However you’d like your holidays to feel, I’m wishing that for you.